After passing my first competency I am feeling a little more confident. Having confidence in what I am capable of doing is what everyone was telling me over and over again all week. I just didn't feel comfortable. To tell you the truth I still don't! I guess I am trying to take so much in and be perfect at these instruments because I care about it so much. I want to be good at this and I also don't want to hurt any patients. After me stressing out about the competency all week and hearing the same response from many people, I realized I was lacking the confidence I needed. Faculty, my husband, and even my mother were all telling me " You need a little confidence Tiffany". I decided that maybe I did.
So on the day of the competency test I did my very best and gave it all that I had. I passed and I was honestly not expecting to. In fact, I am still having the battle with myself again about my confidence and do I feel competent?
What I hope is that time will come and I will be a great hygienist! I wish I could fast forward this stuff and already know everything! I envy the faculty when they demonstrate everything with such ease! They make it look so easy and smooth. I look like a person going in blindfolded. Actually the funny thing is that's how I feel about indirect vision. My poor patients and student partners! This will all be second nature one day. That is something to look forward to. I am enjoying learning the instruments and it is definitely a challenge!
I think that having confidence helped me pass the competency. I might not have been so lucky if I was second guessing myself and fumbling around. So this is another lesson learned among the many to come!
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Tiffany,
ReplyDeleteI have to say, "I am there with you". While I am sure with time and practice I will be a wonderful hygienist, it is difficult to go through this process.
I've learned to look at it this way:
when learning to walk, I had to crawl first, then learn to stand, then work up the courage to take that first step, fall down but still have the courage to keep trying until finally I was indeed walking and then running.
This is how I view this journey we have embarked on. It will not be easy and it might not even come naturally but with time and hard work it will come. Our instructors may make it look easy but they have been where we are so that lets us know that we can and will succeed.
Proud of you,
Yolanda
Very well said, Yolanda. Tiffany -- everything in life is a process. As Yola said, how can you learn to walk if at first you don't crawl. You definitely have the confidence in your mind, now along with your confidence, you must put faith in your heart. At times it will be difficult, but with work, confidence, and faith, we will pull through this. How ironic, I ended my last blog with the same battle between competence and confidence, but the reality is - it is not a battle - both should go hand in hand...
ReplyDeleteAnd it's OK if you 'poke' your student partners -- hopefully if you 'poke' them enough, the less you might 'poke' your patients :)
Congrats on your competency! We're all in this together.
You guys are doing GREAT!!!
ReplyDeleteI completely understand where you are coming from. I too experienced lack of confidence, as well has nervousness. I was so nervous at one point that my glasses were fogged up and I was using neither direct or indirect vision at one point of my test. Overall, I think with more practice, more confidence will come. So try to be patient and continue to work at it.
ReplyDeleteFaculty make me feel very small when they come over and make it look so easy, without even sitting down. Not to mention, after they make it look so easy, they finish it off with "See, that's all you have to do". LOL